More than Clouds
for Jean
My mother was
like the shirtwaist trend
broomstick skirt
born mid-century.
She was raised
on Stokely’s sugar peas
Campbell’s soup
and butter.
She was left to cry
in her crib.
She had sisters to walk with
to the store.
She was a cheerleader
flirt exceptional
student-turned-secretary
very red heels.
She wore make-up from
sun-up to sun-down
and never a day
without
calorie guilt.
She loved husband
sons daughter house with
counters dressed
in avocado green a
toaster harvest gold.
This is what I know
about my mother who knows
even less
about her own mother —
Mary —
a cruel tongue
drank one beer each night
sat in a tub of milk
after a skunk sprayed her.
Who are these women?
I only know
that I want them to be
more than clouds
over this freeway
darkening the sun but they
pitch answers
that are less answers and more
warnings to stop prying.
In my family
there are no story tellers —
my mother can’t
grant the meaning
of herself
the meaning of her own mother.
I am content
to hear my own daughter
claim she knows
five hundred narratives of me.
Candice Kelsey’s work has appeared in such journals as Poet Lore, The Cortland Review, and North Dakota Quarterly. She published a successful trade paperback with Da Capo Press, was a finalist for Poetry Quarterly's Rebecca Lard Award, and recently was nominated for a Pushcart Prize. An educator of 20 years' standing with her MA in literature from LMU, she lives in Los Angeles with her husband and three children.